Sex Machine Museum? Huh?

Hellooooo ladies and gents! Robert from moolta checking in again to show you some other crazy things I ran into on my trip. While this one won’t be a story like the “Amster-dam good dares” post, I promise you it’s just as crazy. ย Today my friends, you will get the inside scoop on the Prague Sex Machine Museum… prepare yourself.

Painful Piercings

Ouch!?!? I don’t care who you are, what gender you are, what kind of freak you are… that shit hurts. MOOLTA DARES YOU TO IMITATE ANY OF THESE!

I only had a few hours to kill in Prague before my flight home so I walked over to a Starbucks to get some free wifi and I ran into this little gem of a museum. I pretty much had to dare myself to go in. Not going to lie, the only thing creepier than all of the sex toys were the people inside (I hope people didn’t see me the same way).

I will now take you through a brief, visual history of sex machines. I dare you to make it all the way through without laughing.

Here we have one of the first ever sex toys… looks like a broom on a box to me (people back then had great imaginations)

Broom Box

I think the rest of Pinocchio’s head is trapped inside the box.

As technology improved throughout the years, toys seemingly got better. (By the way, each of the toys below was available for purchase, however, they only sold secondhand toys)

Women's Toys

Maybe my imagination just isn’t up to par, but I feel like women would not enjoy these.

These next ones actually made me crack up. Turns out guys got jealous of all the female toys years later…

Men's Sex Toys

HAHAHHahahaHahHAHHahahhHahAHHAHHahAhAHahhhAHHhHHhaHHHHHHHhaaaaaa!!!!!!! That’s about all I can say for this one.

And finally, people ran out of ideas… Today there’s some crazy shit. I dare any of you to get strapped in…

The Squeal Wheel

I call this one the Squeal Wheel… Is anybody else as interested as I am in finding out how this thing works? No?

If you made it this far you’re a real trooper… I salute you and the fact that you completed the dare. You came in so innocent and naive and now you leave changed, scarred for life. Sorry I’m not sorry. Until next time, Moolta Men and Women alike, be daring, be crazy.

181 thoughts on “Sex Machine Museum? Huh?

  1. So funny, I have tears in my eyes and other posters just as entertaining with their comments as well. Great post!

  2. Naw, B. I’m not scared as much as annoyed by the displays. Are those pool tables? This is the strangest little museum I’ve ever heard of. Thanks for being brave enough to go in!

  3. As Annie Sprinkle says, we are all in kindergarten when it comes to sex education, what with the giggles and repulsion and fear and embarrassment. Would you believe there’s a vibrator museum in San Francisco? And a sex museum in New York–with much more on display than just toys. (And by the way, they are very likely NOT sold secondhand!)

  4. Not scared and not even slightly shocked. Not sure what that says about me. I did think that one sex toy for men looked kinda like the face hugger from Alien, but I don’t guess this one was made for hugging faces. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I’ve been to Prague but missed this. I will have to look for it next year. Imagine that conversation: Excuse me I have about an hour to kill. Can you direct me to the Sex Machine Museum? No matter who I ask its going to be interesting.

  6. Honestly people! According to these comments sex is scary, crazy, disturbing, annoying, humorous, hilarious, funny and “YIKES”! I find these reactions so sad.

  7. Okay, I am afraid to say I’ve seen most of these several times – mainly as I do research for my book on MS and intimacy. But my nurse brain recoiled at the thought of second hand toys…eww. Those things just never get fully clean…

  8. My hubby and I both visited this museum last year and it was awfully fun to tell people what we were planning to see that day. Good bragging rights. I was a teensy bit disappointed that it did not get more…salacious? lustful?….It was fun and the people I thought were all very nice – no one creepy at all. I’m happy to see that you were brave enough to take photos and post them. I was too shy.

  9. ” I pretty much had to dare myself to go in. Not going to lie, the only thing creepier than all of the sex toys were the people inside (I hope people didnโ€™t see me the same way)” Hahahaha, this makes me laugh – as I will pretty much feel the same way ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Thanks for sharing. Now I don’t have to be one the visitors to have an idea what they have in there ;D

    Hmmm this is a strange little external physical planet of ours. Of cos, the creativity humans have employed in, also reflects what may be going in the minds OR a lack of what is going in the minds and heart hmmmm

  10. That was certainly an education to see that lot in one museum. i saw a collection of sex paraphernalia from the Victorian times in London. Some of these looked really dangerous as they were mechanical and hand operated. I thought they had batteries in those days. Most were for women and looked like egg beaters. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Wow, I am definitely adding this to my “to do” list. I am sure I would giggle like an idiot until I left. Love the post! ๐Ÿ™‚

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