Sex Machine Museum? Huh?

Hellooooo ladies and gents! Robert from moolta checking in again to show you some other crazy things I ran into on my trip. While this one won’t be a story like the “Amster-dam good dares” post, I promise you it’s just as crazy.  Today my friends, you will get the inside scoop on the Prague Sex Machine Museum… prepare yourself.

Painful Piercings

Ouch!?!? I don’t care who you are, what gender you are, what kind of freak you are… that shit hurts. MOOLTA DARES YOU TO IMITATE ANY OF THESE!

I only had a few hours to kill in Prague before my flight home so I walked over to a Starbucks to get some free wifi and I ran into this little gem of a museum. I pretty much had to dare myself to go in. Not going to lie, the only thing creepier than all of the sex toys were the people inside (I hope people didn’t see me the same way).

I will now take you through a brief, visual history of sex machines. I dare you to make it all the way through without laughing.

Here we have one of the first ever sex toys… looks like a broom on a box to me (people back then had great imaginations)

Broom Box

I think the rest of Pinocchio’s head is trapped inside the box.

As technology improved throughout the years, toys seemingly got better. (By the way, each of the toys below was available for purchase, however, they only sold secondhand toys)

Women's Toys

Maybe my imagination just isn’t up to par, but I feel like women would not enjoy these.

These next ones actually made me crack up. Turns out guys got jealous of all the female toys years later…

Men's Sex Toys

HAHAHHahahaHahHAHHahahhHahAHHAHHahAhAHahhhAHHhHHhaHHHHHHHhaaaaaa!!!!!!! That’s about all I can say for this one.

And finally, people ran out of ideas… Today there’s some crazy shit. I dare any of you to get strapped in…

The Squeal Wheel

I call this one the Squeal Wheel… Is anybody else as interested as I am in finding out how this thing works? No?

If you made it this far you’re a real trooper… I salute you and the fact that you completed the dare. You came in so innocent and naive and now you leave changed, scarred for life. Sorry I’m not sorry. Until next time, Moolta Men and Women alike, be daring, be crazy.

181 thoughts on “Sex Machine Museum? Huh?

  1. Pingback: Sex Machine Museum? Huh? | little nefarious, big world

  2. Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but I once imagined a genetic engineer creating a sentient tits, fanny and ass creature very similar to the latex device at the far right of the ‘men’s sex machines’ pic.. :/

  3. Wow I must reblog this is too fantastic for words. I cannot believe SECOND HAND TOYS???! umm hello STD’s and all kind of germs! some of those things look like they could injure a person. I guess their minds were going in the right direction though….thankfull…things have IMPROVED today. but who knows….maybe 100 years from now people are going to be looking at our stuff going what the hell!?

  4. Reblogged this on muffins&mocha and commented:
    This post is a bit graphic so I hope there are no children reading my blog haha. I had to reblog this because it’s so fantastic. I love seeing the way people used to do things!! In the second pic….does that traingular bar thing supposed to spank a person? just curious!

  5. This is RIDICULOUS! I don’t think anyone does this but if you’re looking into this more, my friend was looped into helping at a fetish party once. All I can say is gym equipment was used, and there were a lot of balls (in mouth and other), whips, chains and collars. Needless to say, he wasn’t allowed to attend a man in muzzle and collar as his mistress didn’t allow anyone to address him directly, but through her.
    Talk about constricting relationships?

  6. Oh my goodness…those piercings made me squirm in my seat and clinch my muscles down there lol. Ouch!! That seem like a pretty cool and strange experience at the same time. My favorite was the mini vibrator hand…that truly made me laugh out loud. Great freaky post!

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